Monday, February 23, 2009

Domestic Violence

Recently in the media we are reminded that the ugly monster called domestic violence has reared its ugly head. What will it take for us as a society to realize that love and violence cannot live together? There are no positive connections between love and violence. The words "I am sorry and it wont happen again" does not mean that it wont. You might ask what makes me the expert in this area. I was married at the age of 15 to a man 46 years old. I sustained continuous abuse for 3 long years.

 At the age of 18 I came to my senses and got out of the relationship because it was going to be my life or his and I was not ready to die or be confined in jail. Our young men need to understand that it is not acceptable to put your hands on a female to use her as a punching bag. Some men can control women through verbal and physical abuse. There are prisons holding women today that have decided enough was enough and had to use self defense to stop the violence. To often the abused women stayed on the short end of the stick and were convicted for wanting to live and live without abuse.

The judicial system did not always recognize that domestic violence existed. When I got out of the situation and decided to leave I thought the police would protect me but they did not. When I petitioned the courts for an order of protection the judge told me he did not believe that my spouse had done to me the things I told them made me afraid for my life. How long will we as a society allow men to use women as their punching bags? When will we as women learn that if he loves you he will walk away if you make him angry?